PAST STUPIDITY, LOL

i just want to die right now! huhuhu. CRAP! wahhh! felt like my heart was crushed by a million elephants, yung tipong, durog na durog tlga? yung wala kna tlgang makikita dahil sa sobrang durog na! you just humiliated yourself sergell for expecting too much sa kanya, you'd known the consequences yet you sailed pa rin. taking risk was the biggest mistake. kahit nlang konting respeto and care yung ipakita nya sakin, kahit as a movie and series buddy nlang cguro. my whole body is melting with rage and fire na di ko maintindihan, magagalit ba ako? or i'll just cry? i don't know! HB na ata ako coz i can feel some pain on my nape, haha. i'm just fooling myself! FOOL FOOL FOOL! gumising k nman sergell o, you're better than this! please, maawa k sa sarili mo. sinabi n nga nyang "im not cut for relationships" eh!! bat ayaw mo pa rin mkaintindi? ikaw ata yung manhid serg, sira ulo, martyr, waahh! kung me sobra pa dun, that's what i'll call myself! crap crap crap! anu ba kasi meron sau e? love really is mysterious and humans are fool to fall to. i dont know what to do right now. i need an antidote to forget about you, forget what youve done to me and the feeling i feel for you. youve caused to much pain sakin and i don't blame you for that, it was me who let myself fall for you. i don't want to feel bad for myself, instead, i'll just learn from this and that this whole experience still proves that im capable of loving a person seriously. i know this sounds crazy but i must tell you that you really caught me and i was madly in love with you. thank you for the time anyway, see you when i see you though, mlapit lng nman din tau. well, if you can read this, please dont get mad, paxenxa na din because ive expected too much on you and to myself. tao lng naman tau diba? nagmamahal kahit ayaw nung isa. please forgive me too when i was trying to pull some spare time on you. somehow, with that little time, i felt so fine beside you. haha. 

SIX PART INVENTION - FALLING IN LOVE; this song is dedicated sau, una plang, first texts, call.. swear.



Thank you so much! sad but true, the reality really sucks but you have to fucking believe and accept it. naahh, just have to let go of you i guess, keeping this feeling would continually kill me. everyday will be an enough torture to kill me repeatedly! haha. don't have to delete your number naman, mgiging bitter ako nyan (is this message not enough to show how bitter you are sergell?) [d pa ako bitter nyan ah, promise]

P.S. this does not even sound like a suicide note. im just expressing how i feel right now. (whoaah, feeling a little much better now though; pero d p tlga, haha.) i could write a... uhm, what do you call this kind of writing? reflection paper? reaction paper? haha. duh, whatever serg. friends, if you can read this..... uhhmm.. you might say..

1. nah, naboang na si serg! haha. merisi! [sama mo nman friend] haha. 
2. hala, nainlove tlga ang gago o! [yeah, totally]
3. magpakamatay k nlang serg! haha.

you once said to me, stop being a kid serg. i was hurt but this you should put in your mind, i was a kid so honest of what i feel for you, i was a kid madly and crazily inlove with you, i was a kid that knows how to appreciate people who loves them.

serg, bitter k tlga, haha. [no, i'm not] hindi nga nging tau e. wahaha. tears flowing again.. :'(

again, thank you. and i'll still honestly love you! [goodluck serg!]

ciao!

November 7, 2011 
Monday
4:10 pm